Well I am in the midst of final preparations for surgery. It is a venture into the great unknown for me.
Ultimately I hope to have relief from the pain I have been living with for more than two years, as well as a substantial increase in mobility.
But of course, this end is not an absolute certainty.
I am not really feeling anxious at this point. I slept well last night, for me.
I have received the Anointing of the Sick, one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church, and one I had not received before.
I have some good spiritual reading packed, as well as my Liturgy of the Hours, which I have to admit has been neglected this year. Between bouts of physical therapy, I'll have lots to keep me busy.
My friends have been asked to pray for my surgery and recovery. It will be a long haul. Bi-lateral hip replacements are rarely done, but will be attempted in my case. Let's just get this over with!
I will be praying for my family who will be on their own for a while. In truth, I haven't exactly been a lot of help the past while. They'll do well, I'm sure.
If there is one thing I've learned through this, it is that there is very little that cannot be done by someone other than myself!
Stepping down from things I enjoy doing because I have had to admit that either my condition stole my enjoyment, or that I could no longer do a particular thing, has been humbling, and a reality check!
Being on the sidelines has given me a different perspective on nearly everything.
What do I look forward to? Well, assuming no complications, I look forward to: being able to clip my own toenails, taking walks with my family, taking a shower without dreading the climb out of the tub. Funny the things you miss! Raking leaves, hanging clothes on the clothesline...
I want some of my life back! Yes, some. I have slowed down, and with my personality I will have to be wary of diving back in and forgetting the lessons I've learned.
God has been good. I have managed, I think, to avoid self-pity. I suppose someone other than me might be a better judge of that. As St. Paul tells us, we can join our sufferings to those of Jesus on the Cross.
If you have to hurt, I think it is a blessing to be able to make the hurt work for someone!
Well, I should go and finish packing.